The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
