we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
