That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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