either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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