i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
my poor anus
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
