Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How naked do you want me to be?
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