too bad you live with your parents still
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize