that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
