this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
