Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
