I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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