This is not my ceiling
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
