I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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