are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
