I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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