In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
