it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
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You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
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Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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