I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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