I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
