You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
