do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
