you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
