I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I want a musical about memes.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
