Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
