yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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