lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
