I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
