just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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