everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
