Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
