As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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