And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
