Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just had sex on a roof
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
