Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
