i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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