Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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