Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
