Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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