I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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