Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
