you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This is my gift to your gina
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
