I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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