its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize