Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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