Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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