i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need to calm my uterus...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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