she looked like the before picture.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
