Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
