plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize