I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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