remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
