why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
