I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
