I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we're making bets on your personal life
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
