You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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