What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
