Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
