How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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