I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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