Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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